So, here’s what apparently REALLY went down. This story about Tiger having an affair broke Friday, but I didn’t mention it given there was no backup and I didn’t want to say something negative about the angelic Tiger Woods and cop a tirade of hatemail as a result!

But, according to a “source”, Tiger and his wife Elin Nordegren had a bit of a dom-estice about the rumor that he's been cheating on her ass with a chickie called Rachel Uchitel for the past six months or so… The argument got nasty when Elin showed him who the REAL tiger in the house is, and went to town on his face, scratching it up. Naturally that was Tiger's cue to exit stage left, so he hopped in his Escalade to escape the madness. But Elin wasn't going to let Tiger get away that easy, so she chased him with a golf club and smashed his back windows. Tiger, who is apparently taking painkillers for an injury, got distracted in all the chaos and crashed into the fire hydrant. The two made up the story that his SUV's windows were busted out, because Elin broke them with the golf club to save Tiger.

Word is Rachel Uchitel is of course is deny deny denying that she's letting Tiger park his car in her garage. Rachel says that she met him once, but that’s it. T’yeah, that’d be because she doesn’t want to face the wrath of Elin? If Elin took a golf club to Tiger, I can imagine what she would do to Rachel. Elin will run her over with a golf cart. Meanwhile, Tiger’s been overheard saying he needs to get himself over to Zales (an uber-expensive Jewelry store) to make amends to Elin.