The second picture illustrates the end result of a massive day for a 2 year old after attending a fellow kindy mates birthday party at Hungry Jacks .

I spent the best part of Saturday at the local HJ’s watching my 2.9 year old getting loose in a pirate costume refusing to partake in ANY of the festivities.

Luckily he wasn’t alone. The birthday boy also wanted NONE of it. NONE. He did however want to blow people away with the fake pilgrim pirate gun my son brought along to the party. Jack of course was happy with this as he got to play along using a crayon as weapon of choice.

It was a lovely thought, don’t get me wrong, for the parents to invite his wee friends from kindy and it was fantastic bribe material for a whole week. You know the kind “If you don’t eat your peas, no party on Saturday” “Right, if you don’t pick up every piece of lego in this room, no party on Saturday” Repeat .

So we went shopping for the gift. Mini fishing rod purchased, eye patch sought and we were good to go.

Of course, the bigger two kids wanted to come just because it’s at Hungry Jacks and apparently that place is a mystical wonderland. That or it’s a great excuse to come along and have HJ’s for lunch.

Within 10 minutes of being there, Jack is down to his undies. I shit you not.

Stupid me did not dress him in civvies under his glorious (self-imposed) pirate costume and so almost immediately the six pack abs that comes as part of the costume, gives him the shits. It’s off. So too the bandanna and eye patch. We are down to a very dodgy robe and his undies. To their credit, none of the other parents (few of which I’ve met before) are showing me disdain directly to my face.

The big two were hungry. Jack wouldn't stay in the party room without me. So we went and ordered and when we come back, there was a silent game of pass the parcel going on. It was so bizarre. I swear I was the only one in the room who couldn’t hear the music to the game. The parcel was being passed, no music, and then it stopped at a particular kid and then all the rest of the room cheered. What the fuck? Is this some sort of exclusive pass the parcel club I am yet to become a member of? The silent game and music continued for two more turns before the food came.

And so, we come to the part where Jack teaches the birthday boy to blow away every car that came through the drive-thru with their guns (In Jack’s case, the one he fashioned from a yellow crayon) This is the point where he go got down to his undies. OH yeah, tell me I’m not going to be hot topic at the PTA meeting next week.

The cake was consumed, the birthday boy lost his shit on the party room floor and the Bacon Deluxe burger I ordered sat untouched in the paper bag in the corner.

I make this day sound, I guess, somewhat more terrible than it was, but, I must say, my child wasn’t the most violent in the slippery dip of death, nor did he kick anyone else in the head or squeal repeatedly. He just got loose. What every 3 year old kid should be doing on a Saturday as far as I’m concerned.