We all know how men just LOVE going to the doctor. How they roll up every 6 months to double check everything is just hunky dory. That there are no problems with their blood sugar or cholesterol. What’s that you say? Not any male you know? Me neither.

My husband, this Friday, after my insistence, is going in, for what I like to call, the 30,000km service.

Last year, I had my first 30,000km service which basically involved some blood tests and the 2 yearly “lady” test. When I got the call because the “doc wants to talk to you about your results” it was immediately, in my head, worst case scenario stuff. Already I had myself dying of cervical cancer, or breast cancer or else my cholesterol was going to be through the roof and I was a heart attack candidate. 5 days to sweat it out until I could get an appointment. Turns out I need more iron. YOU COULDN’T HAVE TOLD ME THIS OVER THE PHONE? But at least now I had a benchmark.

So now, it’s dear husbands turn. And he is shitting himself. Scared about the finger up the bum bit. You know, the test for checking your prostate. Trying to make light of the situation, I asked him he’s scared he’ll enjoy it too much. That’s when he revealed, he is genuinely horrified at the thought of a stranger doing *that* to him. Um, hello. I have a cold metal crocodile shaped object stuck up my clacker every two years to check me for cervical cancer. It’s what I do to SURVIVE, not to relive my first trip on a merry-go-round.

So that sorted, it really is a major topic that I’m betting most men, under 50 and not in the “high” risk category, really don't want to think about or act upon. But if there is a family history or you are over 50, and you have never had a test, now is the time. Between the ages of 60 and 69, you need to know it is the second most common cancer in men. After 70, the most common. That doesn’t mean it doesn’t happen before that.

Most guys don’t even know what the prostate does. Neither did I til I used the power of google. Guys- basically it helps your boys (sperm) to get out and to it’s destination. It produces the nutritional (hellloooo ladies) fluid that accompanies the sperm and gives it projection. Without it, basically the general population would not exist.

If you have had failure to launch (hard to get a pee started), been getting up at night to pee or have had pain with ejaculation, you should get checked. These are not the only symptoms, but the ones I bet you would notice first. Nine times out of ten it’s not cancer, just a benign enlargement, but wouldn’t you rather be sure? Get it before it gets you?

So, now you know you’ve got to go, what happens?

1st test- Index finger to the rectum. From what I understand it feels like doing a poo. Let’s face it, the amount of time you boys spend on there, this is clearly something you usually enjoy doing. The rectal exam is a short procedure that is over before you know it. It’s usually done at the end of the consultation so you don’t have to worry too much about eye contact if it still makes you uncomfortable.

If a problem is found...

2nd test – blood test

If there are still doubts...

A Biopsy. Involves a spring loaded needle to be inserted into the rectum to gain some tissue for testing. Sure, it’s not going to be pretty, but neither is chemo for advanced cancer.

So have I persuaded anyone?

I hope so. My mum has advanced bowel cancer, which her brother passed away from nearly 2 years ago. I asked Mum, knowing her family history, why she didn’t get a bowel scan kit and test herself. Her answer, “oh no way, far too embarrassing”. Let me tell you, after what I’ve seen her go through in the last 2 months, I bet she’s rethinking the meaning of embarrassing.

Just go boys, it can't be any worse than having read this.

For more info visit http://www.prostate.org.au/