Look, it just wouldn’t be normal week if there wasn’t some sort of emergency journey in the back of an ambulance now would it?

Oh yeah, I don’t think we just ran down one china man. Oh no-no. I think we may have taken out most of Shanghai in a mass Hit n Run.

Yesterday at work, being the awesome parent I am, I ignored three consecutive “Unknown Caller ” phone calls to my mobile making the off-cuff comment to Miss C, “oh if they want me bad enough, they’ll leave a message”

Turns out they did need me badly. Well Sam did. Oh and they did leave that message. It went something like “Oh Mrs Morley, it’s Lyn here from Sams school. Look, he’s had an accident at school and I need you to ring me straight away”.

Stupid me, I was still under some false sense of security, that there would be some sort of “dramatic shit” amnesty on my family (except of course, if that dramatic shit included winning Powerball).

Was all of this shiteness we were encountering because I never forward on chain emails? You know the ones? The ones that say “if you don’t pass this onto 78 people within 3 minutes of opening it, you’re first born will get rabies and your house will explode”, that kind of chain mail? I smashed a miniature mirror in my handbag about a year ago. Could that be what is wrong? If so I’ve got 6 more years of this shit.

What is it they say about saying negative attracting negative, positive, positive? We are definite shit magnets so not quite sure what vibe that means we are putting out there to acheive that kind of special. I haven’t had time to be a rotten cow to anyone, I’ve been too busy lining up the Emergency Department at hospitals. Clearly I just haven’t been reading The Secret enough and/or not sitting down meditating on the floor focusing on a picture of a Mercedes Benz and gigantic mansion.

Anyway, poor Sam, first foray into the Year 2 adventure playground kind of sucked for the little guy. He made it two rungs in, before he slipped and fell directly on his elbow. Probably most kids would fall, cry, get up and have another go. Not Sam. The doctors were telling us along with monkey bars, trampolines, skate boards and the new rip sticks are the most dangerous play equipment out there.

So on the scale of how badly you can break your elbow and your arm, the surgeon told us this was the worst. Good news, he still had a pulse in that arm and bad news, they might accidently sever either his nerves and or/arteries because of the area and nature of the break. Awesome.

Going in to the operation, Sam was most concerned about how they would put him to sleep. I told him “With Drugs”. He freaked. “But Mum, you’ve always told me to study hard and stay off drugs and now you’re making me take them?” Ahh pumpkin, let me rephrase that, they will give you medicine. After asking me if he’s going to die (the most heartbreaking question your child can ask you) he went off to sleep and under the knife.

So last night, at 11pm, Sam came out of the theatre, groggy but relatively happy. Massive thanks to the wonderful Doctors and Nurses at the Gold Coast Hospital. You all rock.

To avoid any more of this Mayhem, I have declared a No Go Zone on funeral Homes that have potential hazardous, out of control,ceiling fans, shoulder rides with men over 6ft and monkey bars of any description, actually scrap that, parks of any kind. Unless they have the Spinning Egg. Nothing bad happened on the Spinning Egg right?