I need a freaking holiday. And I just had one.

Mum, somehow, managed to save some money during her time here on earth. Not a lot, and how, on a pension, spoiling her grandkids absolutely rotten, she achieved this, is beyond my comprehension. I mean we (my husband and I) do alright, there are two of us working, we don’t have an out of control mortgage, yet we seem to struggle to save a single cent. We have the usual expenses of course that is associated with working for yourself, two cars, three kids (one that needs extra medical assistance) and just the everyday stuff like groceries. But I think, honestly, it may be of course, more than likely due to two factors. The husband has a penchant for all things Bunning’s and I have an affinity for buying stuff I rarely use. Except for my Tupperware Happy Chopper. That, my friends, is a blog post all of its own.

Anyway, back to Mum. She constantly told me, all through my adult life, that she would leave enough money for her funeral, much to my equally constant protests. But of course she did. And then some.

Just enough it seems for us to either pay off a credit card (obviously the most efficient and smartest move), put the money against the mortgage (equally good for the finances) pay the school fees for the year (smart and getting rid of one major bill) or go on a holiday. I’ll let that linger. Because clearly financially this is just a crap idea. We just had 4 weeks off at Christmas and we have whopper credit card bills. Smart people would pay off bills and hop to it.

Straight up: I’m not that smart.

I want a big fuck off holiday. And I want it to have a swim up pool-bar and kids club.

See it seems the last 6 months have left me spent. I used to hate that term. Spent. It's just so “I can’t believe it not’s butter” Fabio, Mills and Boon speak. But I digress.

From having my mother die from rapid moving cancer which to be honest, I don’t think I’ve actually sat down and thought about properly, to not having not one, but two sons in hospital with broken arms, then subsequent week spent in hospital with Sam and his infected pins in his arm, I am just, I don’t know, the best term I can come up with is, rooted.

So I have started googling in ernest family holidays. Bali is looking good. I know Bali well. My husband I going there no less than 7 times pre-kids. I know, I know, we could have gone around the world with that money, but honestly, it suited us. He liked to surf, I like to shop, we both like to eat and lie down a lot, and did I mention that it is CHEAP! Eat like a king for $10 a day. Sure, I would never venture outback into a kitchen in one of those joints, but I never got sick, if anything, I lost weight. Holy hell, what other holiday leaves you this satisfied and brings you back skinnier and more thankful for the fact that you live in the greatest country on earth?

Fiji is also looking promising price wise. I’ve heard the lovely ladies at the resort take your kids off your hands and you are lucky if you see them for more than 5 minutes a day, such is the fun of Kids Club. Not that I don’t want to see my kids, but geez, a day of snoozing on a recliner by the pool sounds like heaven. Just one day.

Sam has a special fascination with Lego. So Lego land has been bandied about. But to be honest, a second mortgage on the house would be required to spend a couple of weeks in the US of A. Although, to be honest, New York, is my ultimate destination. May have to wait awhile though.

There’s always the local (1-4hr drive) option. Sunshine Coast/Yamba. Equally lovely.

So now I am just in disarray. Where to go, what to do. If anything. I’m sure if Mum is looking down right now she is appalled at my modern debt. Her answer would more than likely be to cut that shit down (well not in those words). But then I reckon there would also be a side of her that wants me to relax and have a break. We’ve got a lifetime to work on the debt. The same can’t be said for my sanity.

Suggestions on your ultimate family holiday welcome. Keep in mind my pre-requisites of a swim up bar and kids club