My ten year old daughter had her eleven year old friend over for the night on the weekend and boy, did I learn A LOT.

Like, the amount these kids know about periods, shaving their legs, boys, Dolly magazines, energy drinks and cyber bullying. That amount is a shiteload.

It was such an eye opener for me. These two, chatted away, totally aware I could hear them, talking about whatever took their fancy. In fact, they got along incredibly well and as far as sleep overs go, it was very easy.

I took them out for grown up coffees/hot chocolates before the movies. On the way to the movies the girls started having a conversation about their mutual love, Justin Bieber. Don’t know who the beebs is? Believe me, that’s a good thing. He’s a recently turned 16 year old singer that sounds a lot like a girl. That doesn’t deter the tweens of the world from being seriously mesmerised by his cute face and razor sharp hairdo. A heads up little girls, he is seriously fucked once his voice breaks. See if he’s so adorable then. Anyhoo, I digress. 

The girls started talking about whether he could be their boyfriend or if the SIX YEAR age gap would be too much. When girls this age talk about “boyfriends”, they are actually talking about boys who ask them out, but never actually talk or interact with them until one of them unceremoniously “drops” the other.

So, continuing with the age gap conversation, my daughter pipes up with “Yeah 6 years isn’t too much. Look at Madonna and her boyfriend, there’s like 50 years difference between those two!”

Jess, her friend says “Really, 50 years? That’s like, a lot, Maddie. Who’s her boyfriend”.

Now keep in mind these girls both go to the same Catholic school.

Maddie “OK, maybe it’s only 30, wait, Jesus is 28, she’s like 50, so 30 years? (Note to self, time to work on Maddies maths skillz)

Jess “Jesus?”

Maddie “Yeah, Jesus”

Jess “Jesus? She’s going out with Jesus?”

Maddie simply tells her yes and no clarification is ever made to Jess that Jesus is actually a brazillian 28 year old model Madonna is on with. I would love to be a fly on the wall in their next RE lesson.

Over our hot chocolates and coffees the girls were telling me about Cyber Bullying. (I have only just recently let Maddie have a very limited Facebook page and MSN). Jess went on to tell me that another girl who no longer goes to their school cyber bullied her. I asked her what cyber bullying specifically, was done. Jess: “She sent me an email calling me a, am I allowed to swear to explain it?”

Me: “Sure”

Jess: “She called me a slut. Now, I know what a slut is and I am not one. She was annoyed I hadn’t replied to her last email quick enough. She swore at me more and my mum blocked her straight away”.

Crap, this cyber bullying stuff is dead set ridiculous. But she didn’t seem to be too worried about, in fact they moved on a story about a girl in their grade who drinks Red Bull and stays up until 11pm each night. Yowsa.

They told me what they know about periods. One of them telling me that she’s getting hers this year. Really? I wish I had of known when exactly I would first get mine. Would have saved a fair bit of embarrassment just quietly. Perhaps she’s psychic.

They told me what they know about Dolly magazine (neither allowed to read it just yet) and told me honestly, about the boys they like in their class.

I’m realistic enough to realise that this won’t always be the case. I know it’s only a matter of time before she stops telling me anything and she stops idolising me. I am trying to instil in her though, that I am cool enough I guess, for her to confide in me no matter what the issue.

Until then though, as long as she listens to that Justin kid on her ipod and not the CD player in my car, we can still be great friends.