Gold Coast Sunrise

Conquering self-sabotage

From the moment you wake up you have a choice: you can either be on your own team or not.

You can choose to feel overwhelmingly let down by the world – that’s easy. Switch on the news and you’ll be bombarded with a constant stream of human beings treating each other poorly. Sadly, we are not hard-wired to be kind to each other.

Or, you can take a breath, return your focus to your own life and really back yourself to fill your potential.

Feeling overwhelmed by the world paves a very easy way to let yourself feel powerless. Your inner voice will take over as it chants negativity to you. Fear will rule you and you can waste your whole life being held back by it.

We all have a critical inner voice. I wish I’d known sooner that I didn’t have to listen to mine, let alone be a slave to it.

Now I understand that a destructive thought process is often ruling people who engage in addictive behaviour. That is known as our critical inner voice. It tells you, you’re not good enough, you’re unlovable, or you’re a nuisance to everyone around you. This can either lead you to living a life on pause, not fulfilling your full potential or down the path of self-destruction (drug or alcohol abuse, eating disorders, for instance).

It’s also known as the “anti-self”. So, it’s that part of you that isn’t actually helpful and isn’t operating in your own self-interest.

When that critical, super judgemental inner voice takes control of your life, your decisions and your thinking, it can pull down anything you begin to build. It can lead you to tear apart meaningful relationships, push anyone who gets close away, self-harm or self-punishment in a range of ways.

Psychologists say that this “anti-self” is shaped by early life experiences. What we’re told when we’re very young can shape our core beliefs about ourselves. We accept them as being true.

Realising that is the very first step to overcoming self-sabotage – recognising that it’s there and how long you’ve accepted falsehood as truth.

This is why I frequently write about how liberating it is when you realise that you are not your thoughts. Your inner voice may like to start running wild and telling you all sorts of stories, but they’re not actually true.

There is a beautiful moment of awakening when you realise that, in fact, you’ve been sabotaging yourself all along. Those quiet, whispering thoughts aren’t correct. They don’t know it all. They’re not helpful. They’re limiting you and you don’t have to listen to them.

Recognise it. Challenge it. And then start to work on self-compassion.

Everything you need to know about Domayne’s HUGE one-night sale!

This Thursday Domayne Bundall is hosting their annual ‘Domayne at Home’ event where for one night only, shoppers will be treated to store-wide discounts, canapés, drinks and style advice from two of Australia’s leading magazine editors.

This really is a shopping event like no other!

Along with store-wide discounts, shoppers will have the chance to win a massive 50 per cent off their purchase on the night.  One lucky person will also win a stunning getaway for two to the swanky Byron at Byron Resort and Spa.

And if that wasn’t enough reason to flick your Thursday night plans, then this will be.  Style enthusiasts will be able to learn from the best in the business with Vogue Australia’s editor-in-chief Edwina McCann and Vogue Living editor Rebecca Caratti on hand to chat all things fashion and home trends.

Edwina McCann, editor-in-chief of Vogue Australia (left) and Rebecca Caratti, editor of Vogue Living (right) will be on hand to give advice on the latest trends

Edwina McCann, editor-in-chief of Vogue Australia (left) and Rebecca Caratti, editor of Vogue Living (right) will be on hand to give advice on the latest trends

With more than 20 years’ experience in the luxury fashion market, Edwina is one of the most respected and highly regarded editors in Australia. What Edwina doesn’t know about fashion, simply isn’t worth knowing.  She has been the editor-in-chief of Vogue Australia since 2012 and earlier this year was appointed Editorial Director of the Conde Nast brands in Australia – encompassing Vogue, Vogue Living and GQ.

Rebecca has an equally impressive repertoire of experience in all things design, interiors architecture, lifestyle, travel, and entertaining.

Together, Rebecca and Edwina will share the latest fashion and home trends to come out of Milan and how these trends will transform home interiors and outdoor summer spaces in Australia.

Brenton Lawrence, former Australian rugby league footballer and now an ambassador for Tempur and the player Wellbeing Manager for the Gold Coast Titans, will also be making an appearance.

Fancy sipping drinks while you shop up a storm in true VIP style? Then make it a date at Domayne’s exclusive ‘Domayne at Home’ event this Thursday from 6 – 9.30pm.

Get your personal invitation delivered to your inbox now…

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This is a sponsored editorial brought to you by Domayne Bundall

 

Lonely path beach

Why don’t we talk about loneliness?

Considering it’s so common, loneliness is not something we often discuss. It can conjure up images of an elderly person sitting alone and has unhelpful connotations of being unpopular. None of these come close to reality.

Feeling isolated can have nothing to do with your age, how many friends you have around you, or even how busy your social life is.

The more I’ve read to learn about depression the more loneliness crops up as a contributing factor. This makes sense when you consider that lack of connection in any form can be the beginning of feeling isolated. So, feelings of loneliness and lack of connection can precede depression and floundering mental health.

Being alone and being lonely isn’t the same thing. There’s a notable difference between loneliness that’s draining and upsetting compared to restorative, chosen solitude.

Writing for Psychology Today, Gretchen Rubin from The Happiness Project identifies seven types of loneliness:

  1. New-situation loneliness. Such as moving to a new city or starting a new job.
  2. I’m different loneliness. Confronting feelings of standing alone.
  3. Being single loneliness. Of course there’s nothing wrong with being single but some miss having an intimate attachment.
  4. No animal loneliness. Felt after losing a much-loved animal.
  5. No alone time loneliness. You may have lots of friends around you but don’t feel that close connection.
  6. Un-trustworthy loneliness. Sometimes in life you can start to doubt that your friends closest to you actually have your best intentions at heart.
  7. Quiet presence loneliness. This is why some people struggle to live alone – they prefer to have the quiet company of another human being around even if they’re not in the same room or talking.
  8. These are all worth thinking about if you have a feeling of loneliness that you just can’t shake.

It’s worth investing time in really trying to identify what the root cause of your loneliness is. What is really driving your feelings? Is your loneliness causing unhappiness? If so, that’s something to address as lingering loneliness is not good for our mental health.

Psychologists often say that feeling connected to others is a key part of happiness. In this respect, the old cliché is true, turning the spotlight away from yourself and giving to others can be really rewarding. Volunteering can tick several boxes because you’re filling a need within your own community and making connections at the same time. Double win!

If you’re used to spending a lot of time alone, and have a feeling that it’s no longer serving you well, you may need to remind yourself to make time for others if you need to until it becomes a habit.

Some people are naturally more sociable than others but you don’t have to swing from one extreme right over to the other. Little pockets of time with others can start to break down that wall. A quick chat with a neighbour on your morning walk or with the person who makes your coffee can chip away at feelings of isolation. You don’t have to suddenly cram your diary with events and late nights!

As with many things in life, being aware of loneliness can be the beginning of changing it. By its nature, loneliness can make people feel more negative or critical so they may push friends away rather than seeking them out. Even taking that on board can be the start of fixing it.

Good vibes and sunshine, The Village Markets is the place to be this Sunday

The Village Markets line-up is always on point – and this Sunday will be no exception.

Held on the first and third Sunday of each month at Burleigh Heads State School from 8:30am – 1pm, TVM is more than just a market, it’s a community of creative entrepreneurs… and you’re invited to come hang!

Equipped with coffee in one hand, market basket in the other – head along and discover the best line-up of boutique market stalls, street eats, live tunes and TVM’s pre-loved designer & vintage clothing rack sales.

Shopping can be tiresome, so once your basket is bursting with TVM finds grab a feed from a variety of gourmet street food stalls, pull up a picnic rug and soak up the winter sunshine, live tunes and good vibes!

The Village Markets PHOTO: Mel Pinn

Dogs are always welcome at TVM too – so bring your pooch and make a morning of it!

Editor’s Note: This article is for general information and entertainment, and is the expressed opinion of the author and not a paid advertisement. All details were correct at the time of publication. Be sure to check the currency of information directly with the venue/service in advance of any booking/purchase.

Watercolour Art

Unleash your imagination with these creative workshops

The Gold Coast is jam-packed with fun workshops designed to feed your creative soul. So whether you’re looking to learn a new skill or re-ignite an existing one, unleash your imagination with these inspiring workshops.

The Craft Parlour | Pottery, Cake Decorating, Macramé, Kokedama, Resin Art – the list goes on!

When it comes to getting arty, The Craft Parlour in Palm Beach is Da Boss of creative workshops. Offering a plethora of possibilities including cake decorating, hand-lettering, pottery, macramé, kokedama, resin-art and more – the only thing left to do is grab a bestie or your boyfie (guys can get creative, too!) and book in. The hardest part will be choosing which workshop!

The Craft Parlour

The Craft Parlour PHOTO: By Melissa Pinn

Moss n Stone | Floristry

Budding florists will love Moss n Stone in Chirn Park, offering a series of fun workshops designed to equip flower fans with the basic concepts of floral design. Grab the gals and spend the afternoon crafting flower crowns, or for the hostess with the most-ess, a lesson in creating the perfect table centrepiece will wow the pants off guests at your next dinner party.

The Burleigh Common | Alcohol Inks

Relax, unwind and unleash your creativity at The Burleigh Common, a space designed to connect, create and inspire like-minded creatives. Settle in for 2 hours of exploration, uncovering the medium of alcohol inks. Be mesmerised as the inks blend and flow together and lose yourself in creating your own artwork to take home and proudly hang on your wall.

Salts Meat Cheese | Cooking

Unleash your inner chef at Salts Meat Cheese in Surfers Paradise, with hands-on pizza and pasta masterclasses. Strap on an apron and learn step-by-step how to craft the perfect dough or pasta from scratch, before enjoying your delicious creation with a well-earned glass of wine.

Brush & Barrel | Painting

Brush up and wine down at Brush & Barrel, a dedicated Sip N Paint studio in Surfers Paradise. Get a group together, or go solo and uncork your creative juices – paintbrush in one hand, wine in the other. Feel like you’re missing that creative gene? Don’t worry! No skill required – just BYO fun attitude and your favourite bottle of wine.

Artable | Painting

Grab a smock and channel your inner Picasso with Artable’s collection of painting workshops across the Gold Coast. Dabble in acrylics, get whimsical with watercolour or play with pastels with guidance from some of Australia’s best art teachers. All materials are supplied; all you need to is book, show up and let your inner artiste shine!

Artable

Artable’s creative studio PHOTO: By Melissa Pinn

Paradox Coffee Roasters | Coffee Making

If you’re a ‘life starts after coffee’ kind of person, Paradox Coffee Roasters in Surfers Paradise have workshops to feed your caffeine addiction. Step into The Paradox Lab and learn the art of making great coffee – from discovering roast levels, to flavour profiles and brew methods. Upon completion, you’ll be frothing milk like nobody’s business!

Clean Beauty Market | Make-up

Keen to spruce up your appearance or touch-up on make-up techniques? Clean Beauty Market in Nobby Beach offer relaxed workshops where you can learn about the best non-toxic natural beauty products and how to apply them like a pro! This hands-on 4-hour workshop is perfect for those wanting to make the switch from mainstream products to cleaner, cruelty-free alternatives.

Clean Beauty Market

Clean Beauty Market PHOTO: By Melissa Pinn

HOTA | Life Drawing

Embrace the opportunity to sketch nudes when HOTA throws open its doors for Life Drawing on the second Thursday of every month. Artists and wannabe artists are encouraged to come for the live music and stay for the life drawing, with the guidance of an experienced teacher in a relaxed and friendly environment. Doodling never looked so good!

Editor’s Note: This article is for general information and entertainment, and is the expressed opinion of the author and not a paid advertisement. Be sure to check current activities, prices, addresses, opening hours and contact information directly with the venue/service in advance of any booking/purchase.