Drawing the short straw

EVER had one of those weeks where it feels like you’re just hemorrhaging money?

We’ve just had one. Cash we don’t have is pouring out of every orifice.

First it was a retaining wall that unexpectedly collapsed a couple of weeks ago; the repair bill for that wannabe-mudslide was just over $5k.


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Then an unplanned trip to the dentist chewed through another $500.

And this morning, we’ve discovered a leak in our rumpus room, with a telltale stretch of mould closing in on a sizeable corner of the room. Quotes to come, but I can only imagine how much that’s going to cost us.

It had me daydreaming this morning. Wouldn’t it be awesome if, just as quickly as unplanned expenses appeared, you could conjure up an unexpected financial windfall to counter them?

Imagine being able to appoint yourself a payrise – kind of like Senator Glen Lazurus did this week.

The Queensland Palmer United senator lined his own pockets to the tune of $21,000, with a self-proposed and self-approved payrise. Wouldn’t it be nice?

Senator Lazurus has only been a senator for a lazy 12 weeks, but he felt it appropriate to award himself a nice little payrise, as he’ll soon be serving as chairman of the Senate select committee inquiry into Queensland.

He is expected to spend around six months working on the inquiry, which Lazurus says is designed to investigate Premier Newman’s “many questionable decisions since he was elected”, as “Queenslanders deserve an honest and consistent government and leader”.

For doing so, his base salary will jump 11%, up from $195,000 to $216,500.

Interestingly, the motion creating the inquiry was moved by Senator Lazarus himself, and stipulated that he be chairman of the investigating committee.

Usually committee members get to elect their chair, don’t they?

The Courier Mail is suggesting that (shock!) PUP leader Clive Palmer had a hand in it, as he wanted his man running the show as part of Palmer’s objective of attacking his ahem, “sworn personal enemy”, Premier Newman.

It brings to mind that naff, clichéd saying, “You scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours”.

I swear, it was invented simply to explain the behaviour of politicians. It perfectly suits their chosen vocation and values, because conducting yourself the way politicians often do is not quite illegal or immoral – but it sure seems they always manage to avoid drawing the short straw.

The Meddler

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Here’s your chance to get your opinion in front of a large audience and earn a dollar! Anything from the minutiae to the meaningful, the heartfelt to the humorous, if you’ve got an issue or a rant you think Gold Coasters need to read submit it to The Meddler. There’s $50 for each contribution published. Contributions should be under 400 words. myGC reserves the right to edit articles submitted. Please visit Share with myGC under the Views MENU for more details.

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