Lord of the flies – Budget edition

“WHAT ARE we? Humans? Or animals? Or savages?”

If you woke up this morning feeling like you just had an unanesthetised colonoscopy you are not alone.

That’s what a budget you have to have when you don’t really need to have it feels like with no pain relief or lubrication.


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A survival of the fittest budget where the weak and the vulnerable are left on the other side of the island to subsist the best they can.

The aged, disabled, young unemployed, students, the chronically ill – all shafted.

[blockquote]Find out what the Federdal Budget will mean for Gold Coasters[/blockquote]

So there was something rather cruel about the Coalition MPs backslapping each other and cheering Jack Merridew and Roger, oops, I mean Prime Minister Tony Abbott and Treasurer Joe Hockey after the budget was handed down.

“Serve you right if something did get you, you useless lot of cry-babies!”

So what did sick people ever do to make Joe Hockey so angry at them?

A $20 billion medical research fund is all very well but if you are already sick you are screwed.

And it marks the end of our noble system of universal healthcare.

You will now pay cash up front to go to the doctor and for blood tests and x-rays; pay more for medications; and even pay more for the petrol to drive to the medical centre.

Hospital funding will also be cut so there will be longer lines in emergency departments – which you may also have to, for the first time, pay for.

“This head is for the beast. It’s a gift.”

But at least Gina Rinehart and her mates will be happy.

Taxes on polluters and mining have been abolished and there will be no cuts to the diesel fuel rebate.

Religious chaplains also scored big with $250 million to take their message into our schools.

Because that’s how we want $250 million to be spent on struggling schools.

“He began to dance and his laughter became a bloodthirsty snarling.”

So how did Joe Hockey prepare to tell Australia about the budget he admitted would be tough and would have such a devastating impact on so many people?

He danced in his office to a song called ‘Best Day of My Life’ – no joke.

“I got the conch!”

Yes, you do Joe.

 

The Meddler

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Here’s your chance to get your opinion in front of a large audience and earn a dollar! Anything from the minutiae to the meaningful, the heartfelt to the humorous, if you’ve got an issue or a rant you think Gold Coasters need to read submit it to The Meddler. There’s $50 for each contribution published. Contributions should be under 400 words. myGC reserves the right to edit articles submitted. Please visit Share with myGC under the Views MENU for more details.

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