The Masters’ Apprentice

FROM George Bush and Donald Trump to Honey Boo Boo and those toddlers in their tiaras; the US is and has always been the ‘7 Minute Abs’ to our eight.

Only instead of being infuriated by their constant trumping of our dizzying high’s and tragic lows, we absolutely love that it happens.

We aussies take great comfort in the notion that no matter how stupid we get there is always someone out there who is dumberer.


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…and they are almost always American.

Their criminals are meaner and more insane, their citizens as stupid as they are morbidly obese – every day we Australian’s live in this world where no matter how low we stoop, the bar will always be set lower.

Like a pot smoker who knows kids that shoot heroin, or a cutpurse who knows murderers and rapists, we revel in the muddied moral high ground of always being ‘not that bad’.

No matter how ridiculous, violent, obscene, illegal, brilliant, unbelievable, humorous or downright batsh*t crazy something is here, it would still only take home the silver in America.

Take national politics this week for example.

When our Prime Minister Tony Abbott reneged on his pre-election promise to not cut any funding from the Australian Broadcasting Corporation on Monday, I am sure many Australians were deeply troubled.

More than that, I would hazard a guess that many aussies felt sadness and betrayal, that a promise made to the voting public could be so easily broken.

Surely our petty political promise-breaking would pale in comparison to the moral blackhole that is American politics.

It took mere seconds to find Obama’s name in the news, so i clicked on it and… Huzzah!

The so called leader of the free world had done it again, outrageously taking it upon himself to altruistically solve his nations’ immigration problems, despite it being politically damaging to himself and his party.

How insane, how evil, how ludi….wait…what?

That’s right, in a week were our PM had lied, lied about lying, then kind of stopped caring that he lied at all and simply switched to trying to convince Australians that budget cuts to the ABC are a good thing, his counterpart in the US is having to go state to state to convince his citizens that treating human beings as, well, human beings, is a good thing.

I wonder how many Americans are sitting at home today shaking their heads thinking ‘we will never be as bad as Australia’.

[signoff icon=”icon-thumbs-up”]The Meddler

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Here’s your chance to get your opinion in front of a large audience and earn a dollar! Anything from the minutiae to the meaningful, the heartfelt to the humorous, if you’ve got an issue or a rant you think Gold Coasters need to read submit it to The Meddler. There’s $50 for each contribution published. Contributions should be under 400 words. myGC reserves the right to edit articles submitted. Please visit Share with myGC under the Views MENU for more details.

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