A National E’merge’ency

LEFT Lane Ends.

They are quite possible the three words that strike more fear and trepidation into the hearts of millions of Australians than any other three.

For those of you who don’t know what I’m talking about, jump in your car and go for a drive on the M1 from Burleigh to Tugun and then tell me if this is not the most important topic facing our great nation!


Like most kids that grew up south of the border, I learned from the great verbal tradition of my forefathers that a complete lack of ability to merge is a distinctly Queensland trait.

If only it were true.

For my naivety I was punished in the most inhumane of ways last week – three hours in a car stuck in a crawl of a traffic jam just north of Macksville with nothing but ‘The best of the wiggles’ to keep me from insanity.

I barely survived.

Traffic Jams change a man.

First comes the anger. This initial anger is a natural reaction and is very hard to fight against.

But we do. We try as hard as we can to muster our way into stage two – calmness.

“It’s ok,” we tell ourselves.

“I am sure it will be fine, I’ll just put some music on, I’ve got nowhere to be, I’m sure it won’t take long etc etc.”

Exactly four minutes later we are in the grips of stage three – blind rage.

“why….WHY GOD!??”

“Why did this happen to me, of all your loyal subjects…. I recycle, I don’t talk to people who watch or talk about ACA, why have you forsaken me???!!”

Minutes/hours later, completely exhausted, we drive past the point that has caused this nightmare.

A merging lane.

Enter stage four…complete and utter befuddlement.

At this point we are not really even watching the road. Sure our eyes are looking straight, but all we see are questions.

“But, but why,” we silently ponder, completely dumbfounded.

“There wasn’t even a crash, or road work, or, or anything.”

It doesn’t have to be this way people…

Merging is really quite simple. All you have to do is, before the road ends, ensure you are in the other lane.

It is not a ‘cliff starts now’ sign, nor is it a ‘break hard now’ sign…it is simply a sign for your convenience to tell you that, at some stage in the next half kilometre or so, you should put your indicator on.

That’s about it.

So next time you are in the left lane and you see that sign that tells you your lane is ending soon, set yourself a challenge of merging without making any cars slam on their brakes (yours included).

Together, we can make a difference.

[signoff icon=”icon-thumbs-up”]The Meddler

Here’s your chance to get your opinion in front of a larger audience. And earn a dollar! Anything from the minutiae to the meaningful, the heartfelt to the humorous, if you’ve got an issue or a rant you think Gold Coasters need to read submit it to The Meddler. There’s $50 for each contribution published. Contributions should be under 400 words, please supply contact details including a phone number. The Meddler reserves the right to edit articles submitted. Please send to news@mygc.com.au [/signoff]