Call for compassion after baby dies in hot car

A baby tragically died in Sydney on the weekend after he was left in a hot car. In an utterly heartbreaking set of circumstances, he was in the care of his grandparents when he died, and his grandma was taken to hospital suffering shock afterwards. The child’s mother – well, it’s easy to see how she will never recover from this.

The response to this tragedy online has been reactive and unhelpful, to say the least.

Any parent or caregiver can forget a child. Any of us.


I’m not talking about the parents who leave their kids in the car so they can duck into the shops or run errands, or who leave their kids sleeping in the car because they don’t want to wake them up – this is reckless, negligent behaviour.

But there are countless comments from people on social media saying “I don’t understand how you could forget your child – they deserve to go to jail”.

I don’t understand how you don’t understand! Because it’s not a purposeful choice; people are not consciously doing it. They are regular people going about their day, juggling a million different things in their mind, and their babies have fallen asleep in the car… and that’s when a crucial, tragic, life-ending mistake is made.

A brilliant Pulitzer Prize-winning article, Fatal Distraction, was published about a decade ago that deep dives into how this happens. Journalist Gene Weingarten writes:

“Parents of all ages and ethnicities do it. Mothers are just as likely to do it as fathers. It happens to the chronically absent-minded and to the fanatically organised, to the college-educated and to the marginally literate. In the last 10 years, it has happened to a dentist. A postal clerk. A social worker. A police officer. An accountant. A soldier. A paralegal. An electrician. A paediatrician… It happened to a rocket scientist.”

Years ago, my cousin’s old boss forgot to drop her daughter at daycare one morning. She was distracted by a big work day ahead of her and went into work, started checking emails, made some phone calls.

It was almost 30 minutes before she realised her baby was in the car. She’s an intelligent, educated, kind, caring woman, but this can and does happen to anyone – especially to parents who are sleep deprived. Luckily the baby was totally fine, but her mother wasn’t. She has struggled with guilt to this day, driving herself crazy with “what ifs”.

Demonising people who do this helps no one, and getting the pitchforks out and demanding “justice” is a fool’s game. Because the reality is, someone who lost their grandchild or child can bear no greater punishment than the natural consequences of their actions.

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Yes this is true we all can forget and it’s devastating there are so many cases of this and unfortunately a lot of people aren’t educated about this. I have always thought that there should be an very distinct alarm or alert in cars that says check your back seat as a prompt to help reduce these incidents this type of distinct alarm would save lives with the amount of money car manufacturers make I would they could at least play their part and give back to communities by helping keep babies safe. I’m not blaming anyone it’s tragic but let’s be solution focused instead of crucifying people who made a genuine mistake.

When I was a young mum with 5 kids in tow doing everything myself as hubby worked away , shopping was an experience after loading the bags in and the kids I would get one child to return the trolley on one day I thought all was in and drove off only to look in the review mirror to see my son running behind me waving and screaming at me. Yes I didn’t leave him in a car but I left him out of it. Today they all laugh about it but I see how easy it is to make a mistake , these grandparents and parents are going to live with this error forever ppl shouldn’t make it worse we should grieve with them, have compassion and support them, I’m sure others have made mistakes otherwise we wouldn’t of read about stolen cars with babies in seats etc or prams rolling into creeks , no one is perfect.

The problem is, everyone should know by now the precautionary measures to take so that this doesn’t happen to them, or someone they love. This is in the news constantly. An average of 40 children each year in the US alone die in vehicles from hyperthermia. 2018 it was over 50. How many children dying does it take for parents to care more about the safety and protection of their child than their cell phones, jobs, errands, “juggling a million different things”… Our society is on a downhill trajectory, quickly, when our busy lives are more important than our family. There are simple devices that have been around for years that can be put in cars to remind you that your child is back there, if you need it. There are simple reminders that cost you nothing (make it a habit to always look into the rear of your car before exiting, put your purse/bag/phone in the rear of the car so that you have to look back to retrieve them…) but cost your child everything if you don’t bother. And the problem is most don’t bother. THAT is why people need to be called out when this tragedy continues to strike, because these “accidents” are totally preventable with just a little bit of attention, and attention desperately needs to be brought to this epidemic before many more innocent children continue to die horrific, tortuous deaths.