Christo: I’m So Great…ful.

I understand that Facebook is a place that can make you feel like a rockstar.

A place where you’re every move/burp/fart/meal gets acknowledged by your friends or the plump kid that used to have a crush on you at school.

It’s a place to go where everybody knows your name and is quite willing to artificially inflate your your ego by indulging in every inane post or photo and I’m totally guilty of it like most of us.


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What I’m disliking at the moment are the grateful posts.

In case you’ve missed it, it’s a challenge issued by an online friend to “help flood Facebook with kindness” by posting 3 things over 5 days that you’re grateful for.

There’s just one thing: EVERYONE’S ANSWER IS BASICALLY THE SAME!

We’re ALL grateful for our family, partner, kids, loved ones, friends, health, waking up in the morning, the air we breathe, the money in our bank, need I continue?

Instead, I’ve decided to drill down into the small things that I am personally grateful for this week.  It’s a comprehensive list of what I feel would be overlooked if I was nominated to take on this challenge because I’d feel compelled to write a thank you list to the obvious.

So here goes:

  • Filling up my car at $1.36 – I feel like I had a small victory over the petrol giants.
  • My wife scoring a free bottle of large olive oil because Woolies stuffed up the shelf price to the what-it-scanned-for price.
  • Getting a rock star carpark when I had two screaming kids in the backseat and a hangry wife riding shotgun (that’s angry because you’re hungry) and didn’t have to drive around for 45 minutes searching.
  • Remembering to record this week’s ep of True Blood (there’s only 3 episodes left EVER!)
  • A burp I did in the car this morning on the way to work.
  • Having Telstra give us extra internet for free because we’d gone over our limit.
  • My kids having a day nap at the same time (SCORE!)
  • Antidepressants.
  • Getting an annoying splinter out of my finger with ease and little pain.
  • That clean feeling after vacuuming.
  • Doing a dog poo run in my garden only to find my brother-in-law had already done it.
  • Having good neighbours who don’t shit me to tears.
  • Free wifi.
  • Closing an unused credit card and finding out that I had a $96 credit.
  • Not getting sick from accidentally eating off hummus.
  • That tingly feeling I get “down there” when using my particularly minty shower gel.
  • Pizza.

We’ve obviously reached a tipping point in human history where mankind can no longer maintain an inner monologue and must post every minute detail of their life.

“Just walked into the kitchen to grab a sanga, let out a small, but delicately scented fart. Buttered bread.”

“Damaged my iPhone trying to update the details of my shower this morning but realised my phone wasn’t waterproof once I was under the water #stupid #firstworlddramas #notwaterproof #disaster #nomoreselfies #pissoffhashtags

It’s madness and makes me wonder what life would be like without social media.

Now, you’ll have to excuse me while I go and post a link to this blog entry out to my friends and family on Facebook, randoms, friends, colleagues and bots on Twitter, associated past and present workmates on LinkedIn and take a selfie while typing this part of the blog to upload to Instagram.

Madness.

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