Daily Prophet Exclusive: Chamber of Secrets Returns

REPORTS have emerged of a strange incident deep in the bowels of the Ministry of Magic this week.

The highly covert Department of Magical Law Enforcement reportedly oversaw the furtive swearing in of the highest law officer in the land, the Chief Warlock.

A controversial promotion that has raised the hackles of the wizarding world, the powers that be decided it would be best to keep the official ceremony cloaked in secrecy.


The Ministry of Magic Minister – He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named – was absent from the ceremony and later refused to be drawn on accusations the Snape-like appointment to such an important role was due to the dark arts.

But he did hint that, after rescuing people off rooftops, he had now found a cure for pancreatic cancer.

Also absent was the entire Wizards Council, the Wizengamot.

Claims the highly esteemed robed ones couldn’t make it because they were all at an important conference were dashed when reporters from this journal found them indulging in a Butterbeer or two at the nearby Hog’s Head Inn.

It is the first time a member of Slytherin House has been appointed to the role.

Even the Dementors at Azkaban have been unsettled by the controversy, threatening to march on the Ministry if nothing else comes along to enrage them.

The head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement refused to acknowledge there was growing concerns about recent orders and potions emanating from his office.

He also denied a rumour the appointment of a relatively junior Magical Law Enforcer as Chief Warlock was an attempt to save some Galleons.

“The Death Eaters who were last in charge of the Ministry of Magic did leave us with a massive debt to the Gringotts Wizarding Bank,” said He-Who-No-One-Wants-To-Name.

“But as our last budget indicated, we are using potions and charms to create a magic pudding.

“And, if that fails, there is always transfiguration.”

The Deputy Minister of the Ministry of Magic quickly refuted He-Who-No-One-Wants-To-Name’s comments.

He said potions, charms and transfiguration would not be used to rebalance the budget.

“There will be no dark arts used to fix the budget hole created by those damn death eaters,” the Deputy said.

“But the wizarding world has to understand strong choices have to be made.”

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