FLAN: Captain’s log

I keep driving over the Tweed River on the M1 and gawking at the intoxicating color of the water.

That light blue is the most delicious hue.  It’s so inviting I have to force myself to look back at the road


PHOTO: Tweed Heads Coast / VisitNSW.com


I kept imagining myself in a tinny cruising our inland bays and inlets that I would otherwise never see.

I started looking on gumtree for a tinny and trailer and I keep finding them listed for around the $2500 mark.

This week I have bored Emily Jade senseless with tinny talk. She keeps telling me to save my money and invest it in my house.   Bah humbug.

But let’s put this in some perspective. EJ steadfastly maintains I shouldn’t buy a giraffe so I’ve decided not to listen to her on this one.


I tell ya, EJ’s sensible, measured approach to life is starting to get my goat.

The idea of buying a tinny to tool around in and soak up a little of the “flipper lifestyle” the Gold Coast has to offer has become very appealing.

I say Flipper lifestyle because when I was a kid there was a TV show about a boy who was mates with a dolphin, uber-imaginatively named Flipper. That kid had a boat he was always taking off in. Thanks to flipper when I was a kid I thought everybody had a hovercraft.

Flipper was a slightly damper version of Skippy. The major discernible difference between them was they used live dolphins on flipper, not dead kangaroo paws on sticks.

Watching the news this week, there was a story about gumtree and they reckon pretty much everybody has about $3500 in their garage that could be sold and turned into cash.

When I heard that I got excited.

My next project is to turn the stuff I have lying around the house into a tinny that my kids and I want to call “The Butt.”

The sense of freedom I get when I imagine myself in a tinny reminds me of how I felt when I first got my driver’s licence.

Suddenly, the world was my oyster. Well the bits I could get to by road were anyway.

As weird luck would have it…I rang a mate the other day and he told me he’s just bought a share in an oyster farm at South Straddie.  I literally want to just turn up there one day and yell out “Hey Mick, can I get a dozen?”

There’s only one obstacle; I don’t have a boat licence or a boat or any skills on the water and I really want to learn how to skipper a tinny safely.

If you have any suggestions for courses I could attend on the goldie about how to operate a tinny safely I’d love to hear about them.


Captain Flan signing off.

Flan is half of the Flan & Emily Jade Breakfast Show which can be heard week days from 5am-9am on 1029 Hot Tomato.

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