Hopping our way into mockery

IT’S BEEN a bad week for Brand Australia.

And that’s not even considering the damage the Federal Budget is doing for our reputation as human beings.

We seem to be so confused about our identity these days we have just settled on permanently taking the piss out of ourselves – before anyone else can.


A good plan if you are a dork in high school trying to avoid the bullies.

Not so good if you want to hang out with the adults.

First there was one of the most embarrassing international incidents since Tony Abbott made a speech at the World Economic Forum and advised them “You can’t spend what you haven’t got”.

Well, according to my credit cards, you can.

But I digress. I’m talking about the Eurovision song contest where Jessica Mauboy was delightful as usual.

But the cringingly bad ‘comedy’ routine beforehand, featuring dancing footballers, lifesavers, surfers, drag queens and a giant koala head had more than one Australian cancelling their European holidays in disgrace.

Then it was announced Australia’s World Cup slogan to be emblazoned on the team bus as it travels around Brazil will be Socceroos: Hopping Our Way Into History.

Besides the fact hopping is perhaps not the best way to play soccer, couldn’t we have come up with something less clichéd?

Like Chile. Their Slogan is ‘Go Chile’.


The Netherlands went for humour: Real Men Wear Orange.

Brazil: Brace Yourselves! The 6th Is Coming!  proved the Brazilians can make anything sound dirty.

Some countries will need two buses to get their message across: Ecuador: One Commitment, One Passion, Only One Heart, This Is For You Ecuador!

Then there is the French who have possibly embarrassed themselves even more than we have.

I bet you thought that was impossible.

Merde pas!

France: Impossible Is Not A French Word

Actually it is.

The English word impossible came from the Old French word impossible which was adapted from the Latin impossibilis.

The French translation of impossible is, in fact, impossible.

Le crétins.

As our slogan was chosen by Aussie soccer fans at least we can be grateful ‘Aussie, Aussie, Aussie, Oi, Oi, Oi’ won’t be plastered all over the bus.

The Meddler

Here’s your chance to get your opinion in front of a larger audience. And earn a dollar! Anything from the minutiae to the meaningful, the heartfelt to the humorous, if you’ve got an issue or a rant you think Gold Coasters need to read submit it to The Meddler. There’s $50 for each contribution published. Contributions should be under 400 words, please supply contact details including a phone number. The Meddler reserves the right to edit articles submitted. Please send to news@mygc.com.au