Separation can be an extremely difficult time, especially when children are involved. As our emotions are likely to be heightened during this time, it is essential that we prioritise the interests of those ‘caught in the middle’ – the children.
To help you during this difficult time, we have a few tips:
1. Keep all communication short and simple
Take all emotions out of the equation by sending business-like messages. This will help you keep the conversations short and polite, whilst still gathering the information you were seeking from the other parent. You should seek to use your communications to discuss matters relating to your children, not as an opportunity to raise personal feelings towards each other.
2. Be respectful
As difficult as it may be to put the emotions aside, it is essential that as parents you remain able to communicate with each other. This is the first step towards ensuring a healthy co-parenting relationship. As much as you can, you should speak positively about the other parent so as to make your children feel safe and comfortable, rather than ‘caught in the middle’. Avoid at all costs posting on social media about the other parents, the circumstances or any inflammatory posts.
3. Message on a safe platform
Any separation will be stressful and can result in parents scattering messages to each other across a number of platforms including social media, text messages, emails. We recommend that to ensure that all your messages regarding your children are stored safely and securely, you should download a co-parenting app. This will be particularly useful in the event you need to search through them to find information at a later date. Further, no communications can be deleted.
4. Be understanding
Begin by accepting that both parents are probably going through the same thing. As times are stressful, things might be said that should not be said. Answering angry messages with angry messages is not going to help the situation. Remember that helping the other dealing with this time can be helpful to your matter overall, especially as this will ultimately benefit the children.
5. Communicating directly is better
Although it may be difficult to communicate with the other parent, it is always better to deal with things without having to go through intermediaries. In the interest of maintaining a healthy relationship for your children, it is important that the children are not used to pass messages between parents, even when they are older.
If you need help with your separation, the team at Richardson Murray can look after your legal affairs so you can focus on you. Feel free to book a free initial consultation here.