Jack Sparrow still has to play by the rules

SO once again a celebrity has found himself on the wrong side of the law. It’s not unusual, since we hear about DUIs, drug allegations and general misbehaving all the time.

But this one’s a little different.

In this case, it’s Johnny Depp and he’s found himself in a disagreement with the Australian Department of Agriculture.


Apparently, he and his wife Amber Heard would miss their two little dogs, Pistol and Boo, so much while Johnny was filming Pirates of the Caribbean that they smuggled them into the country.

Sure, they didn’t stuff them under their jumpers or down the front of their pants (thankfully) – but they did the Hollywood equivalent and brought them in on a private jet.

Bringing them in is really no big deal, but bringing them in without notifying customs, or getting the proper permits through quarantine is.

I do understand missing your pets, and feeling bad about leaving them at home, but is that really a good enough reason to sneak them into another country illegally? Was there really no one back home who could have kept an eye on the pampered pooches? Doggy grandparents? Close friends? Twenty four-hour armed security?

Now they have a very limited amount of time – literally hours – to get them out of the country before the dogs are seized and possibly put down.

While that may seem a little drastic, ultimately it’s the law and even movie stars and their model wives need to abide by the rules.

Minister for Agriculture Senator Joyce, who made a comment about the whole fiasco to ABC News, said it was time for Pistol and Boo to “bugger off back to the United States.”

Even though his sentiment was dreadfully worded, he has a point. Quarantine exists for a good reason, and even the sexiest man alive can’t be exempt.

And if you thought the whole thing couldn’t get more ridiculous, Pistol and Boo probably would have gotten away with their illegal entry, if they hadn’t been booked in for a haircut at a local dog groomer.

The dogs even had a handler stay during the entire process (which naturally happened after hours, for security reasons) since the poor babies couldn’t be left with strangers.

I’m guessing that same handler will accompany the poor darlings back to California. By private jet, naturally.

Sorry Johnny, you may be a fantastic Jack Sparrow, but even you have to play by the rules.

[signoff icon=”icon-thumbs-up”]The Meddler

Here’s your chance to get your opinion in front of a larger audience. And earn a dollar! Anything from the minutiae to the meaningful, the heartfelt to the humorous, if you’ve got an issue or a rant you think Gold Coasters need to read submit it to The Meddler. There’s $50 for each contribution published. Contributions should be under 400 words, please supply contact details including a phone number. The Meddler reserves the right to edit articles submitted. Please send to news@mygc.com.au [/signoff]