Lessons in politics: Or how you shouldn’t make the trains run on time

POLITICS 101, Lesson 1: When talking up your achievements do not use examples that invite unfortunate comparisons with fascism.

E.g. Making trains run on time – because you know who else made the trains run on time.*

Politics 101, Lesson 2: When talking up your achievements do not use examples that invite unfortunate comparisons to corrupt former governments.


E.g. Using the number of cranes you can count in the sky as an economic indicator like Sir Joh did.

Politics 101, Lesson 3: Don’t come back from holidays and tell people how great they have it on the very day job figures reveal another rise in unemployment.

Premier Campbell SuperNewman has returned from his holidays, fresh and ready to launch into the pre-election campaign which is the election campaign you have when you don’t want to pay for your election campaign.

As in, all the Government travel, advertising and propaganda from now until the election is called is on you, the taxpayer.

So expect to see more ads with soft spoken men hypnotically telling you how well the government has been doing as we approach the deadline for the next state election early next year.

SuperNewman has already started with a media blitz, unusually calling press conferences every day to make a good news announcement.

Then, dodging uncomfortable questions on other subjects, he flings back his cloak and flies off.

But he did choose to elaborate on Brisbane radio just how excellent things are going despite his plunging popularity in the polls suggesting he is the only one who feels this way.

The budget, job creation, cranes in the sky, health and trains running on time were just a few of his achievements.

You know the budget the government had to make changes to because people were so furious with it; the jobs being created when unemployment is actually rising; and the health system where a cancer patient had to lie on a waiting room floor in a Gold Coast hospital because there were no beds.


Perhaps there were no newspapers, television or radio where he went on holiday.

*Apparently it was an urban myth that Italian dictator Benito Mussolini made the trains run on time. He just told everyone they did and people believed him.

The Meddler

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