Man digs tunnel to local pub

A NORTHERN IRELAND County Court heard how plumber Patsy Kerr has spent the last five years visiting his local pub via a secret tunnel under his house.

Kerr spent 15 years building the tunnel using everything from spoons to a heavy-duty boring machine. The most incredible part of this story, though, is that his wife remained none the wiser throughout.

“The wife has a bad snore on her,” Kerr told Tyrone Tribulations. “After watching The Shawshank Redemption on RTE one night in 1994, I decided to do something about it so I waited til she was in a deep sleep and then set about digging a hole under the bed in the direction of the pub.


“It wasn’t until 2009 that I hit the jackpot and came up through the women’s toilet mop and bucket room.”

The Department for the Environment discovered the tunnel after it caused a neighbouring sewer to collapse.

“To be honest I was sort of glad I was caught,” Kerr admitted to Tyrone Tribulations. “She was always smelling drink off me in the morning and I was explaining it away as a natural odour.

“But recently I was finding myself singing rebel songs and stuff coming back up the tunnel and it was only a matter of time before I was caught anyhow. The landlord was also wondering how I was just appearing out of nowhere at the same time every night and disappearing from the women’s toilets.”

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