Emily Jade: Motherhood is boring

Lily Allen, I love that woman, she is one of my favorite stars. Not because of her music, which is quirky and meaningful, but because she tells it like it is and I love her for that.  On a French radio station she confessed that she came out of musical retirement because motherhood was boring. And I quote “I thought I’d be a really happy mum just sitting at home, playing with my kids, that was my dream. I love my children, but I’m a very impatient, busy person naturally. So two babies, neither of them can talk, it was quite boring! Staying at home all day talking to people that can’t talk back.

At first I thought, finally! A celebrity prepared to tell the truth. Her interview had me nodding in agreement and yelling hell yes motherwoman right on!

Yes motherhood can be really boring, and if I were truthful to you, and me and my child, besides needing money to you know, eat, I went back to work to get my brain working again. To reignite my identity after it got very very confused on maternity leave. To enjoy a HOT cup of tea in one sitting, not drawn out over 3 hours, interrupted every five minutes to put on Playschool, or wipe a bottom or wipe the crayon off the walls, eventually finishing it when it is dead cold and the milk has gone all funny on the top.


Love this drink, it looks like mummy is being responsible but it is actually called an “adult milkshake” nearly blew my head off!

A photo posted by Emily Jade O’Keeffe (@emilyjadeokeeffe) on

I went back to work to get dressed up again and not wear the mummy uniform of jeans and t-shirt when I’m out in public and a tracksuit when I’m not. And of course I went back to work to afford said cold cup of tea.

But in all seriousness at the time, like Lily Allen, I thought I was bored with motherhood. I thought sitting on the cold floor of the bathroom for half an hour coaxing a wee out of my L plate toilet user was boring. I thought hearing her scream ‘watch me, watch meeeee, WATCH ME MUMMMYYYYY’ a thousand times a day only to stop, watch and see her spinning in circles for the millionth time was boring. I was bored trying to think of something interesting, nutritious and delicious for dinner each and every night that she would actually eat. And if I had to buy one more bowl of imaginary Weetbix from her $2 shop, (everything costs $2, even Ferraris, currency isn’t her strong point) I’m pretty sure my brain was going to eat itself.

Daddy? Is that you? As soon as she hears the front door click this is where she crawls too to see if its her dad. Adorable.

A photo posted by Emily Jade O’Keeffe (@emilyjadeokeeffe) on

But then I went back to work, and all those little things I thought so boring, I MISSED THEM.

I missed her little face so proud of eating everything on her plate. I missed her learning a new dance move that progressed from spinning in circles to adding in some weird but wonderful hand flapping movement. I missed it when her $2 shop progressed to pricing things accordingly, a milkshake was $5 and a Ferrari $10. And as for boring, there is nothing boring about watching your child run to her daddy after doing a number two in a café toilet and hearing her inform him at the top of her lungs that she DID A POO DADDY in front of the 50 people sipping their lattes. So, after dissecting Lily Allens comments and perhaps putting too much thought into it I have decided motherhood isn’t boring, it’s far from it, what is boring is those that think it is because perhaps they are missing the little miracles happening in front of their eyes every single day.

No quirky caption, this is just a really nice picture of Millie and me.

A photo posted by Emily Jade O’Keeffe (@emilyjadeokeeffe) on

Emily Jade is half of the Flan & Emily Jade Breakfast Show which can be heard week days from 5am-9am on 1029 Hot Tomato.

This piece originally ran in Bmag here: