The NSW Blues owe me big time – and it’s time for me to collect.
You see I am a proud New South Welshman living on the Tweed who is sick and tired of coughing up cash, cartons and bottles of Kentucky’s finest each and every year to Queensland fans who I foolishly still call mates.
Growing up with the likes of Daley, Clyde, Stuart, Johns, Fittler and co to barrack for, I was only too happy to claim Zooper Doopers, cheese and bacon rolls and the odd meat pie (fools) as the Blues of the mid 90’s dominated the hapless sunshine state.
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But the ledger has tipped well and truly the other way now and after a decade of doing my dosh, I calculate the NSW Blues owe me big time.
I have come to collect.
Now I don’t want money, but I do have an idea that may help Blues fans like me be compensated for both the emotional anguish and financial burden we have borne.
Challenge Queensland to State of Origin: Drive-off.
I’m not talking about golf here, but the vehicular ‘driving’.
You see on Thursday morning I was in my car and had to travel north of Tugun, which is rare for me but it had to be done.
So off I went on the M1 northbound from South Tweed.
Things were going as well as could be expected with the increased frequency of Queenslanders who consider the right lane to be just a less-crowded slow lane, but I managed to remain calm.…until I hit the Currumbin bridge.
It had been so long since I had gone north that I genuinely thought it must have been an accident up ahead.
20 minutes later as I snailed past the entry lane at Elanora everything magically cleared.
No accident at all.
I chided myself for forgetting the golden rule of driving in the sunshine state – none of you can merge.
The 20 minutes of first gear did get me thinking about how to best tackle this problem though and then bam, the idea of the State of Origin: Drive-off hit me.
Think about it; it took Queenslanders a decade of embarrassment on the footy field throughout the 90’s and early 2000’s before they pulled their collective heads in and started to get good at footy, so why not apply this same process to driving skills?
NSW Blues you owe me, you owe my generation big time and it is time to pay up.
All you have to do is throw down this challenge and we’re even, then we can sit back and enjoy watching Blues drivers embarrass their cane toad counterparts for the next ten years.
Gus Gould and Ray Warren could even assist in commentary; it would be a major television event!
The real payoff would come in 2025 when Queensland drivers begin embarrassing their Blues neighbours with masterful merging, indicating, accelerating, using their mirrors and just generally driving sensibly and capably.
Blues fans like me living near the border have come to terms with our annual donation to the beer fridges of our Queensland mates – this plan of mine won’t help the Blues win footy games but it will shave at least 5 minutes off my trip to the bottle shop each year to pay them their winnings!