Outrage over new McAussie burger

When I heard that people were up in arms about the new McDonalds “Aussie” burger, I have to admit: I thought there was going to be a kangaroo involved.

As in, kangaroo meat in the patties. Surely they’re not going there?! I thought?!

Turns out they weren’t – they’re not going there at all. No national icon animals are harmed in the creation of the meal.

However, Aussies are slamming the new McDonalds’ “Aussie BBQ and Egg” burger – which is only available in Canada, by the way – because it includes nary a solid Australian ingredient.

For instance, it doesn’t include any pineapple. None. Not a slice, not a piece, not a sliver.

And, it gets worse: there are no slabs of beetroot, either. A smattering of crunchy beetroot chips are in the mix, but that’s like saying you can dip your chips into a punnet of cherry tomatoes: right ingredient, completely wrong execution.

They’ve slapped it all together on a brioche bun, which is okay; a white damper-style bun that leaves a fine coating of flour on your fingers would have been a more pure choice, but it passes.

However, lastly and significantly, they claim to add a freshly cracked egg to the mix.

Introducing the Aussie BBQ & Egg Burger! With a freshly cracked egg and smoky BBQ sauce, you’re in for a g’day. Available from July 16th to July 29th. #WorldTasteTour pic.twitter.com/iKEzMbpLGD

— McDonald’s Canada (@McDonaldsCanada) July 19, 2018

When you view the promotional images, it’s clear that the egg has been cooked to within an inch of its life. It’s not a gooey, soft egg yolk dripping down your fingers type of egg – it’s a delicious yet rubbery McMuffin style disc of eggy goodness.

In other words, McDonalds Canada completely failed at getting a decent Aussie burger off the ground.

Everyone knows that a classic Aussie burger needs three things:

• Beetroot juice that drips down to your elbows while you’re eating.
• A meat patty so juicy that it drips down to your elbows while you’re eating.
• And thick, soggy, fat hot chips that you can use to mop up the above-mentioned sauciness.

We also know that the best place to get this type of burger is a good ol’ fashioned fish and chips shop. Guess where I’m heading for dinner tonight…