IT’S good to know that someone, somewhere is looking out for women and the problems that really matter to the female half of our population.
Forget sexism, victim shaming, body image and equal pay – those aren’t issues that the women of today are genuinely losing sleep over.
No, it seems that that what modern women truly care about is how we look.
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More specifically, how we look when wearing pants.
Yes, I’m talking about camel toes.
Alarmingly, it seems that we’re terrified of them.
It’s only natural; after all, what could be worse than trotting into the gym for your weekly yoga class and, while performing the downward-facing dog, you notice another completely unwelcome animal – a camel – staring back at you from between your thighs?!
Oh, the horror! The humiliation!
It’s every modern woman’s nightmare!
Thankfully, however, there’s a solution. Like hairspray to tame your flyaways and spanks to hide your jelly belly, now there’s Camel No – to hide your girly parts.
After all, a camel toe is not like a lump in a man’s trousers. A man’s trouser snake is natural. They can’t help it! A camel toe on the other hand? Well, that’s just immodest.
The Camel No has a discreet silicone barrier, so now no one will ever suspect there’s anything untoward under those yoga pants! Hurrah!
In fairness, having a camel toe is a big problem.
It’s a big problem in the respect that it isn’t really a problem at all.
Women have vaginas – so what?
Women wear tight clothing – so what?
Women occasionally wear tight clothing that reaffirms that yes, women have vaginas – so what?
These products are designed to give women more confidence, but what about the confidence that comes from being comfortable with your body and how your body looks, regardless of what you’re wearing?
We’ve worked so hard to improve our perception of a beautiful body. We’ve spread the message that every body is beautiful – every shape, size and colour is beautiful.
That is, of course, unless you have a camel toe.
Here’s your chance to get your opinion in front of a larger audience. And earn a dollar! Anything from the minutiae to the meaningful, the heartfelt to the humorous, if you’ve got an issue or a rant you think Gold Coasters need to read submit it to The Meddler. There’s $50 for each contribution published. Contributions should be under 400 words, please supply contact details including a phone number. The Meddler reserves the right to edit articles submitted. Please send to firstname.lastname@example.org [/signoff]