I LOATHE April Fools’ Day.
There is not a day on the calendar where stupidity, ignorance and grief are more prevalent.
And yet we celebrate it.
ARTICLE CONTINUES AFTER THIS ADVERTISEMENT
As if our macabre obsession with death and tragedy actually happening was not enough, every year on the first day in April we go about actually inventing suffering and misfortune.
We then proceed to broadcast this information to as many people as we can, attempting to pass it off as actual fact with the goal being to not only dupe people into believing it but to somehow cause them anything from inconvenience to outright sorrow.
I love a practical joke as much as the next person – but that is not what this day produces.
Social Media started the bar nice and low yesterday with proclamations that ranged from wars starting to natural disasters to incredibly personal tragedies.
I’d love to know how these people think this idiocy will play out in their minds as they type or spew these things out of their mouths.
“Hey Steve, remember how I said Nan died this morning? Well she didn’t. April Fools! How funny was that!”
I just shake my head. It is all I can do it seems.
At the ASADA press conference in Melbourne a journalist actually asked the question ‘do you feel like an April fool’ to Ben McDevitt.
Perhaps what was the more tragic was that McDevitt’s response was ‘ah yes, I knew the April fools question would come up’.
He actually expected that to come up. Just think how stupid that makes us.
But it was newspapers, morning radio and television morning ‘news’ that shoved the bar down past its lowest rung, further muddying the waters between actual news and tabloid filth by inserting into their pages and broadcasts false facts, stories or happenings.
While researching this further I discovered that Kyle (whoever he is) tricked Jackie O (must have been a typo they didn’t have the rest of her surname in the story I read) that one of their staff had gone into labour – not just any labour but an incredibly painful one.
Minutes of comfort and concern (and a burst concealed water bag) later this Jackie person is told it was all a joke.
Telstra, Qantas – the nation’s biggest (and presumably brightest) companies decided to wake up this morning and think up some untruths as well.
Even the Queensland Police were in on it, announcing a three-month trial of Kangaroo Shoes (whatever they are).
In an age where some people on this planet can’t access basic human needs like clean (or any) drinking water, we here in Australia instead devote a day to at best stupidity and at worst actual tangible sadness.
What if the day was called April ‘donate to charity’ Day, or even April ‘go out and do some good’ Day?
Alas we must be fools instead.
Here’s your chance to get your opinion in front of a larger audience. And earn a dollar! Anything from the minutiae to the meaningful, the heartfelt to the humorous, if you’ve got an issue or a rant you think Gold Coasters need to read submit it to The Meddler. There’s $50 for each contribution published. Contributions should be under 400 words, please supply contact details including a phone number. The Meddler reserves the right to edit articles submitted. Please send to firstname.lastname@example.org [/signoff]