Worst. Drivers. Ever.

Gold Coasters are legally able to drive….they just shouldn’t.

There, I said it. Someone had to and you know what im glad it is out there.

We may live in paradise but put vast (vast) majority of us behind the wheel of a car and we turn into a scene from Once Were Warriors or Romper Stomper.


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Seriously, it is getting to the point where we don’t even need to worry about our kids hearing swear words at school – they have already got the crude vocab down just sitting in the back seat with the window down.

Just what about this warm, picturesque and relatively untouched paradise makes us so damn mad when we get behind the wheel of a car?

I have a theory of course.

From my extensive observations on the matter I believe there are several factors in play here conspiring to make us hands down the worst city to drive in.

  1. Our shared sense of realising how awesome a place we live in and thus the shared need to rush to and from whatever we happen to need to be doing (work, shops etc) in order to enjoy more of said awesomeness,
  2. A relative lack of driving ability in general
  3. A complete and utter lack of respect for anyone else and
  4. A sense of entitlement that comes from growing up (and driving around in) a town/city that just a few short years ago was way way smaller than it is now

This is the mix people, the concoction that sends ordinary, laid back Coasties into ‘jake the muss’ mode whenever they get behind the wheel of a car.

The M1 resembles the Gaza Strip more often than a brand new motorway.

And don’t even get me started on the pacific highway – unless you have played at least ten years of competitive Daytona USA / MarioKart 64 and don’t mind in the least being called names that would get you kicked out of the front bar of the Palm Beach Hotel you probably shouldn’t even bother.

Indicating, speeding, tail-gating, merging, stopping at pedestrian crossings – these are all pretty basic things one should do (or not do in the case of speeding and tail-gating) when in a car.

You know, that thing that is designed so you don’t have to walk EVERYWHERE.

Come on Gold Coast, aren’t we meant to be this laid back place full of laid back people who enjoy the lighter side of life?

Next time you buckle up the belt to head down to the beach for a surf or swim maybe don’t narrowly avoid killing that elderly lady trying to cross the road on a Zimmer frame.

When next you are late for work, a doctor’s appointment, a movie – just calm down, slide back into 3rd and appreciate the fact that your grandparents had to walk to these things.

And most importantly of all, next time some muppet in a V8 that sounds like a horrible nightclub flashes past you (or tail gates you) doing 50k over the speed limit, don’t give in to the urge that tells you to swear, scream or follow them and annoy their commute by going slow in front of them.

Just smile, merge into the left lane, put on a song and think ‘it can’t be all bad, after all I do live on the Gold Coast’.

The Meddler

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